"Trust me, I know women."

Join the TS gang for another fun-filled romp through the intricacies of modern society, the news, sports, entertainment and insight. This week, we're joined by Lisa - in her first show.

The girls are offering gift advice, and the guys are taking it.

There's a bunch more this week, so don't miss a chance at hilarity.

Ehhh...what?

This week's Turnip Soup episode is unbelievably dominant - like the Chargers. That comparison is especially appropriate, because there is - again - a complete absence of show notes for this week's show.

We're definitely talking about Favre again, doing some spontaneous music reviews, and talking smack on Bryan - the weakest link.

Thanks for listening -- T/Z/P/S

Scary!

This week's Turnip Soup show is very spooky. Just talking about this week's show could bring about demonic intervention. Look out behind you!

Join Tim, Parker, Bryan, Sarah and NutZach for a trip through their scariest memories. Ouija boards, haunted hotels, possessed beatboxing...it's all here.

Thanks for listening and spreading the word. Call the voicemail at 407-5TURNIP!

Calm down...

It's time for Turnip Soup, and it's the 116th show. Join Tim, Parker, NutZach and Sarah for this week's trip through the world of wonder.

If you love the show, you'll love this one...and because we're short on time, we're skipping on detailed show notes. So go listen.

Cheers.

No, really.

Join Tim, BM, NutZach and Sarah for Turnip Soup episode 115 - the show featuring the world's worst sound. It always comes from the last place you'd expect it...except in this case, where it comes from exactly where you'd expect.

We've got news stories abound, a recap of trips to Minnesota, and a quick refresher of our fabled Poo Monologues.

Enjoy.

Peeeewwwweee!

It's time to welcome another TS virgin. That's right, it's Aaron's maiden voyage on the Turnip Soup show.

Parker has an embarrassing encounter with a couch cushion, and some P90X ambition. The rest of the crew have almost two hours of nonsense, all of which is absolutely the funniest you've ever heard. Ever.

We're weak on the show notes this week, so we're weak on the show notes. Sue us. Just listen, kick back and enjoy.

Can those drinks!

We're not drinking at all this week. Weird, but kinda fun...in a purely "remember everything tomorrow, don't slur your words and make semi-intelligible jokes" kinda way.

Don't miss out as the group invents Harry Potter TV shows to replace the waning series. They're talking abotu House, death panels, big feet, and generating power for your personal electronics. The Bud Light commercials and personal introduction songs are on the menu this week, just as samurai swords are chopping off hands during break-ins.

Cougar cruises, piracy and crazy lawsuits...they're all on the docket.

Whattya think? Should we go booze-free more often? Give us a call: 407-5TURNIP and speak your mind. Cheers, and keep spreading the word.

Pop!

You might think that this show is tame. You might think that we don't have enough to talk about to really fire up the airwaves. Just ask the breakers in Zach's place.

Join Tim, BM, Sarah, Jackie and Michelle as they welcome Asian Tim to his first show...and the crew gets so into it, they blow out the power in Zach's house.

The topics are all over the map again this week...but it's guaranteed to be a great show. With only two cursing edits, we almost set a show record. Keep spreading the word, and thanks for listening.

Balalala...click!

This week's episode of Turnip Soup is officially in the house. You won't want to miss most of this goodness...

...especially when we give you instructions on how to speak Canadian.

Join Tim, Parker, Sarah, NutZach and BM for a wide, wide variety of topics and a boatload of laughter.

CALL THE VOICEMAIL: 407-5TURNIP (887647)

It's true!

Join the whole crew for an absolute laugh stock, in this week's show. We bring back the rap intro, manslaughter, and monster trucks.

Tim admits dumping episode 109 because of a technical error, they talk spankings, football innuendos, weddings, hairiness, nakedness, lottery winnings, shooting incidents among football players, fatness, and SATs.

Don't miss a beat, get the TS word on the street.

La la la la!

It's the 108th episode of Turnip Soup, which means...you guessed it: absolutely nothing.

Join the crew as they chat about medicinal marijuana, Redneck James' new son (Ryker!), Bryan's texting, and a whole slew of intermediary explicitry.

Just when you thought things were done, you end up in the midst of a sing along. It's not your usual sing along, though, so standby to standby.

Enjoy. And tell your friends.

** Call the new voicemail: 407-5TURNIP (407-588-7647) **

Rawr!

It's 107 time. Join Tim, BM, NutZach and Parker for another episode that will make you question your life's purpose.

This time around, we're hitting things like betting at the races, the walk of shame, cougars in Del Mar, holding your nose while swimming, movie reviews, Chuck Norris jokes, camping, tug of war, Comic-Con, Falcor, bluetooth, manslaughter, texting while driving...and a whole bunch more.

Thanks to Zach for picking up the show notes - again. And thanks to all of you who keep calling in. You're making this roll.

40 years!?

It's been 40 years since Woodstock, 40 years since Americans landed on the moon, and 40 years since Keith Richards looked human.

Join Tim, NutZach, BM and Sarah for an action-packed Turnip Soup episode; number 106.

We're talking Iowa, Zach's angst, Bryan's upcoming triathlon, Girls Gone Wild, Woodstock, reflections, and assassinations.  Car racing is in the mix, the Late Show (Conan or Letterman?) and movie reviews stop in for a spell.

There are people killing themselves over iPhones, people being debaptized, masses changing their religion (pun intended), towers changing names, suns being blocked and scary plane flights all around.

Enjoy.

Heh. Not quite.

It's about time. It's the final frontier. It's another proverbial statement full of obscurity and fantasy. It's the 105th episode of the Turnip Soup show.

Fans, you'll be glad to know that Tim, BM, Parker, NutZach and Sarah are on their A games this week. First time listeners: you'll be glad to know that the first 104 episodes are available for you to download tonight.

Join the squad as Parker tries to tell another ticket story (this is becoming often, right?), Zach brags of break dancing in San Jose, and Bryan nearly kills his biking buddies.

The Burger King guy is creepy, and we love him for that.

We've got UFC, voicemails, bearded midget ladies, brothel discounts, governmental IOUs, sex on the brain and rollerblading on the agenda. All of that is true - except for the rollerblading.

This week's special: when will Parker and Tim actually hug? The tension is getting uncomfortable...

Enjoy, and thanks for supporting the show.

"I'm sorry, but it's over."

Once in a while, it's clear that things need to change. This week was a really difficult week for some of us, and you'll sense it on the show. Parker is avoiding the "break up" discussion with his hairdresser, and it's getting uncomfortable.

For a change, the crew hits a whole slew of news stories, and talks at length about massage parlors.

There's a serious lack of commitment on the part of the "note takers" on the show, and a subsequent absence of material for these show notes. But trust us: there's an hour and a half of stuff in the show. Write back with your version of the show notes, and we'll swap 'em out for these. Really.

Can't stop 'til you get enough!

Welcome back to the Turnip Soup show, featuring your favorite Turnip Soup hosts: Tim, Parker, BM, NutZach, Sarah and Huff Daddy. With another unfortunate travel-induced break between episodes, this week's show is loaded with catch up fun.

It wouldn't be a media program if we didn't talk a little bit about Michael Jackson, right? We do so for the requisite period of time, then launch into the real topics.

Sarah's Canadian trip was fun, kids are getting hit with meteorites, Huff Daddy drives through hurricanes for dentist work, and much, much more.

Thanks for listening, folks. Please keep spreading the word!

How smart are YOU?

Join Tim, Parker, BM, Sarah and Huff Daddy for the 102nd episode of Turnip Soup. There's a bunch going on this week, but we don't really talk about any of that. Instead, the gang dances like a beautiful butterfly around meaningful topics.

Parker talked his way out of a ticket. Huff Daddy has talked his way into tickets in ten states, and considers trying for all fifty. HD had a tooth removed, and is on drugs. Tim's dog Chewy was hit by a car, so the group suffers through the story.

If you're Korean, chances are good that you love Parker; and if you're a hippo, with the sneezes, you'll act like you like Parker.

The HD is getting serious with his new squeeze. But we saw that coming, right?

And...Talk Smack Trivia makes a comeback. It's been a while, so we know you'll love it.

Thanks for listening, spreading the word, and generally being awesome.

***Call the voicemail: 619/377-0549****

Finally!

We've finally made it to and through the 100th episode of Turnip Soup, and there's a bunch to catch up on. This week's show recaps the party, and flies through a wide variety of topics.

You won't want to miss discussion on washing bed sheets (how often?) and towels. It's not as obvious as you might have guessed.

The team talks through some antics at Petco Park, and argues about the commonality of pedicures. They run through some upcoming concerts, what's hot (and what's not), and then satisfy CD with some Mana.

Turnip Soup is now being recorded live, and you can listen in. Check out the right sidebar of turnipnetwork.com for times and links.

Thanks for supporting the show!

Call the voicemail: 619-377-0549

Awwww...!

The crew is back for another slamtastic episode of Turnip Soup. It's the 101st - which is one more than 99, clearly. Join Tim, NutZach, Huff Daddy, Sarah and BM for toilet snakes, Comic-Con, listener voicemails and more.

Oh yah, the Huff Daddy is in love.

The crew talks about times when they ran away as kids, things they're most afraid of, and a whole *ton* of other random topics.

Enjoy.

***Call our voicemail: 619-377-0549*** *Cough* It's time for another Turnip Soup episode. We know: it was time for another episode last week. But with the 100th episode extravaganza being planned, the crew is awfully busy planning. Nonetheless, here's a good one for you. You won't want to miss it when Tim, NutZach, BM, Sarah, Parker and Michelle run through a handful of notable news stories - including Facebook firings, Comic-Con, missing street signs, and others. One of the members of the show has swine flu. Can you guess who? Sarah's potential eHarmony picks are in...and the crew has rated them. You have to hear how the guys ranked each of her potential suitors, and some awesome listener voicemails. Sarah sure is popular, these days; it must be something in the air. Thanks for continuing to listen to the show!

It's a match!

***Call the voicemail: 619-377-0549***

The next Turnip Soup episode is here, and it's smarter than a fifth grader. Join Tim, Parker, NutZach, Huff Daddy and Sarah for another trip through the funny, with stops at silly, ridiculous and shocking. Service is still running weekly, and fares are lower than they've ever been.

We've got the usual random ramblings through the intro, but we're quick to jump into a review of Sarah's eHarmony profile, a few voicemails from potential suitors for Sarah, and some guidance on how she should finish it. There's a lot of mileage left to gain on the eHarmony front...so we're in it to win it.

Don't think that's all in store; there's an hour and a half of amusement in this episode. 

Cheers!

What personality type are you?

It's the 97th episode of Turnip Soup - your favorite weekly bowl of laughs. This week, join Tim, Sarah, Parker, BM and Huff Daddy as they roll through an hour and a half of fun...mixed just for you.

The gang recaps some exceptional stories from the past week, some listener voice mails, and the in-depth results of a show-wide personality test. That's right: don't miss the personality dissection of each TS member. Who will you be most like?

As a special treat, the crew revisits some classic Poo Monologues...who could miss that?

Cheers.

Ouch! We're back in the shack of Sarah and Zach, with a brand new topics format, and a bundle of booyall. As if that wasn't enough, Parker's back! Join Tim, NutZach, BM, Huff Daddy and Parker for an awesome trip through the oddest news of the week, including a dedicated story telling from Huff Daddy. Oh yah - he passed a kidney stone last week! Bryan has a new place, Tim has a hairy face, and the US is dying all over the place. Check the forums for the show notes (thanks to Zach!), and follow along with the articles. Thanks for listening!

Filibuster over! Welcome to the 95th episode of Turnip Soup - the show that repairs that broken shelf in the corner of your kitchen (ya know, the one that sits at an angle). This week you'll join Tim, BM, NutZach, Huff Daddy and Sarah for a dish of hilarity, insight and onomatopoeia. These show notes are designed to give you a summary of the show's topics, so know that we have crazy school bus stories, John Mayer and Jennifer Aniston's Twitter-based break up, pizza ads on school tests, and more! Thank you for continuing to support the show by spreading the word, and listening in a quiet library/office building with plenty of quiet people around. Toodles.

Really, editing sucks. It's another episode of Turnip Soup, which means it's another dose of Tim, BM, Huff Daddy...and Redneck James! NutZach's out of town this week (our thoughts are with him and his family), so the redneck does an admirable job of stepping in. This week's topics are all over the map - for a change - and include talks of golf, Penelope Cruz, Tim's MacBook death, and the big, big news of the week. That's right...there is some BIG news this week. Don't miss listening to hear Bryan's big announcement. Thanks for continuing to support the show, tell your friends, and enjoy a heavy dose of TS editing in your work week.

Alright, stop!

It's another Turnip Soup episode - the 92nd, to be exact. We've got Tim, NutZach, BM and Sarah...you've got a laughter attack.

There's some serious rhyming happening this week. Stay tuned, listen up, and sneak a righteous peak; the guys sing all of Ice, Ice Baby...Sarah listens, which makes her a nice, nice lady.

Monkeys are being shot, and that's not a joke; Minnesota's teeming with cougars, it's good to be a bloke. Complete that song, sing the next words; Sarah finally sings, BM slings turds.

Enjoy this latest show, we had fun a time...and in case you didn't notice, these shownotes are one big rhyme.

That's a long time! It's episode 91 of the Turnip Soup saga. Join Tim, BM, NutZach, Huff Daddy, Sarah and Deb for a ruckus of a podcast, whose topics are wider than the federal deficit. That's right - join in as we talk about the Superbowl, nicknames for flatulence, Huff Daddy's 21st sobriety birthday, and an exceptional game of "who's on your island?" It's going to be tough for you to miss this episode; and by tough, we mean just plain stupid. Keep spreading the word. Being a TS Mafia member isn't easy.

Presidential City! This week's TS was recorded on time, but published late..and for good reason. Our editor was laughing so hard while putting this show together, he was unable to get it done on time. That said, you don't want to miss this special kinda show, when Tim, BM and Huff Daddy walk through the excitement of the past week, recall/replay some of President Bush's priceless blunders, and prepare for the new year. Thanks for listening. Word.

Pitbull!

Allllllllright! It's Turnip Soup time, and this 89th episode is just what the hungriest podcast consumers are clamoring for. Join Tim, BM, and Huff Daddy as they recover from some excellent gyros, and bring you another show of lambasting ecstasy. Nut Zach is cajoling with an old friend this week, and wasn't able to make the show...the guys managed to recover.

Don't miss their recap of last week's football games, some quick movie review action from Huff Daddy, an enactment of various personalities in the football huddle, the "what dog are you?" conversation, Bryan's visit to the cobbler, and some "Name That Artist" to bring it all home.

Toodles, noodles and poodles.

Ho-Hum! It's TS time - which means you get your weekly dose of Tim, BM, NutZach and Huff Daddy. Huffy and Zach are missing their shirts...and it's a trend that's catching. Join the guys as they spend an hour or so discussing the most important topics of the week, including Huff Daddy's trip to the doctor, the San Diego Super Chargers, and a litany of zany sideshow tales. Sorry for the late release...Tim and Huff Daddy have been in seclusion, lamenting the Steelers' beat down of the Bolts on Sunday. It's all they can do to look at the world, right now. Cheers!

Happy New Year! It's 2009, and it's a time of new beginnings. Appropriately, we decided to begin a show (and end one, too). Join Tim, BM, Huff Daddy and Parker - that's right, Parker - for this 87th Turnip Soup episode, and the first of 2009. NutZach is in Las Vegas for the holiday, but his voicemails are awesome, and it's almost like he's with the crew. You won't want to miss the chatter as the guys recap Christmas and New Years, cheer on the unlikely San Diego Chargers, proclaim their New Year's resolutions, and bounce around a wide variety of topics. Cheers, Turnip Soup Mafia...and Happy New Year!

It's that time of year! You've been calling in, and sending emails: the last couple of shows have been weak. We got it. So brace yourselves. This week, the fantastic four are in the house, and are loaded up with some serious fun for this week's TS. We're talking Cialis, Christmas, childhood room decorations, new cars, and a whole boatload more. Join Tim, BM, NutZach, and Huff Daddy for what could be our best show in weeks. Yoda says: "Pumped we are, and so should you be." Have a very Merry Christmas, TS Mafia. It's been a fun year...and we couldn't have done this without you.

Welcome to football...

The bad news last week was that Thursday night football coincided with the regularly-scheduled Turnip Soup recording. The good news was that the guys improvised, and put together their take on sportscasting.

That's right, a big chunk of this episode is the guys' collective take on what sportscasting should be like. If you like football, you'll love this show. If you hate football, you'll find this show amusing...but chances are good that you'll be sending us hate mail.

Join Tim, BM, NutZach, Redneck James and Huff Daddy for this week's dose of TS.

...and send John Madden a note: "do it that way!"

Happy Turkey Day!

This is the most impromptu Turnip Soup episode to date, starting with BM and Tim sitting on the couch at the BM/NutZach pad. HuffDaddy joins the fray a few minutes in...

...and the guys have been drinking (HuffDaddy notwithstanding, of course). The topics are all over the map, though to be frank, the show notes have gone missing. In truth, we're fairly confident there's an expletive or two thrown in to the mix; but again, the show notes (and our editing triggers) have gone missing.

In true Thanksgiving spirit, we give you the 84th episode of TS. This one's unfiltered, unstructured, and just plain fun. We think.

Cheers!